Serious Talk

[Mary]

Hello,

We never get down to anything totally serious in here like as a group. Is there anything lately that anyone has just been wanting to get off their minds? If there is one thing about this forum I seriously cherish, it's the fact that we are all kind of like a family hee, willing to listen and stick by eachother in their times of need. If anyone ever needs to just talk just know we will be here waiting to listen to whatever it is you need to talk about. Let this thread be a way for you to do this. Listening is power!

Love Always, Haullie

[♣Miranda♣]

Haullie, I swear, you have got to be the sweetest person in the entire world. You're always so caring about other people, even when you've never met them and it's so amazing.

[Mary]

If there is one thing about me, it's that I am a natural listener. The gift took me some time to perfect. Well okay so we are all not perfect so I can't say I am perfect in any way BUT I can say that if there IS anything someone needs out of me whether it be listening or what not it's really a tough job to listen but it's worth it and we could all use a friend to turn to in a time or two of need.

We are all human and in this "Humanity Insanity" it's important to know that you are not as alone as you may think you are. That is another thing I have had to learn over the years.

Love, Haullie

[♥Mary♥]

How can you say cute things like "humanity insanity" and expect me to get serious?!

In all seriousness.....
Nothing comes to mind, but i love knowing the offer is here....thanks Haullie!

[Mary]

Humanity Insanity! Now I'm being quoted here haha! I love it! You don't always have to be serious in here but you can if you want to lol.

Haullie

[♣Miranda♣]

Well, I suppose I'll start with the "seriousness". I mentioned this on a different thread, but now it's for sure that my best friend is pregnant. She saw a doctor yesterday and she's having an ultrasound done on Friday. They even gave her a tentative due date of September 14, which is just so weird because it means it's really happening, you know? I just keep thinking of that line in "Cornflake Girl" - "This is not really happening, you bet your life it is."
After Friday, she's going to make a decision about whether or not she's going to keep the baby. I'm going to support her in whatever she decides to do.
It's just scary that this is happening and I'm sure she's really scared even though she acts like she's not. I just hate that I can't be with her right now.

[Mary]

I couldn't imagine being pregnant. It's an oddity to me. Getting Pregnant is such a huge decision so I understand. Are you uncomfortable with her having a baby? I know when like one of my friends became pregnant a long time ago it made me feel odd. Like I'd never hang out with her again. But you'd be suprised how attached to the child you might be. In the words of Martha Stewart "Now thats a good thing".

Haullie

[♣Miranda♣]

I couldn't imagine being pregnant either, at least not right now. I'm not uncomfortable with her being pregnant, it's just one of those things you think will never happen to you or someone you know.
She's being really level headed and not freaking out at all, which is good. If she keeps the baby, she wants me to be her lamaze coach, which is kinda cool.

[undeniabledilemma]

Well, the State of the Union Address is supposed to be serious, but Bush cracks me up a lot so I end up laughing.

Seriously though, I'm not a Bush lover but I do think that he's not just trying to get revenge for his father. Saddam has to be dealt with and that has to be soon. People say that he's only talking about war because of his father, because Saddam hasn't done anything he hasn't done in the last 10 years to provoke us to take action. I think we are now more sure than ever that he does have weapons of mass destruction. Saddam isn't getting any younger and knows that he's going to die and wants to do something big before he does.

I don't want a war, but Saddam needs to be killed and if that's the only way to do it, then it has to be done. If the UN acted fast once the war was over, they really could turn Iraq around. Then Iran would start to reform cause that has to happen eventually..they're all pushing for it over there except fundamentalists. So now the Palestinian's power and influence is much, much lessened. Think of what that could do for Israel.. And terrorism. Saddam has to be linked to some of these fundamentalist Muslim groups. With him gone, the groups would lose some power.

I guess my only worry is what happens if we do declare war on Iraq. Saddam has said that he'd use weapons of mass destruction against us if we do. Bush has said that he'd nuke Iraq if Saddam did. Well, if we nuke Iraq obviously there's going to be a loss of soldiers on our part. I'm worried that North Korea might use our weakened state as an advantage and attack our troops in South Korea. Bush has said he'd nuke them if they did. We nuke North Korea and China gets up our ass...and China has the power to destroy us, through nuclear weapons and terrorism.

So I'm scared of war.

And that's enough seriousness for tonight. It's depressing me.

[♣Miranda♣]

War scares me too, especially with the kinds of weaons we all have now.
I honestly don't think war is the answer right now and I'm worried Bush is just being a little trigger happy and is going to end up costing us a lot.

[Monika]

Pregnancy..... well it scares me a bit but I know when I feel like I'm ready for it I'll consider being a mom. I think I'd be a caring mom and not focus on work 24/7 like my mom did, despite past parenting issues my mother is my best friend now, I'm not good with sticking on past remorses and value everything she did give to me, I think I turned up a bit better than even I would have expected. I hope if I ever get the chance to have a baby I'll be everything they expect as well.

As for politics, sorry undeniabledilemma I disagree with you. I think it's selfish of the american goverment to even consider war. I have always been against war, does somebody really win?? I mean what happens to all thoses kids that lose their father's to war, that is not an act of courage. And what about the rest of the world, almost every existing country depends on the U.S in one way or another, economically, etc. I can't say what I think of Bush because I don't want to offend ppl that do like him. But I'm sick of the hate I mean when is the U.S gonna decide to turn the page? One thing is pride but war is it really worth it??

[Snow Off-White]

::Original Post::
Thank you Haullie for this thread. Right now, I have a problem that is bothering me, and I don't have anyone to talk it over with. I know getting it off my chest alone will help. I used to have a therapist to listen, but I can't afford to keep paying her at the moment (thats another problem, but not as serious for me as the one thats bothering me right now).

Self-respect is a very important quality, and it isn't one that I have always possessed. Over the years, I have learned that no one will respect you, if you don't have respect for yourself. I believe that you must stand up for yourself if someone treats you with anything less than respect, or you will become a doormat to them.

A few months ago, I had a fight with my best friend of twelve years. The fight was over something stupid as most fights usually are, but he said some things that really hurt my feelings. I feel like I am owed an apology for the statements, or at least a discussion as to why I am not owed an apology. I tried to be cool about the situation, and wait (in a social self-exile) for an apology, or an adult-like discussion concerning the incident, but that never happened. When our paths crossed by accident I really got my feelings hurt; He tried to speak to me like nothing had ever happened. I was polite but distant. Since the fight, a few meetings like this have happened, and they have all been the same.

I'm facing a real dilemma. I miss my friend, but I also can't believe that my friend would treat me so badly. If anyone else were to treat me this way, I would have nothing else to do with them, but I hate the thought of "discarding" someone that I have been friends with for so long.

I don't expect anyone to have an answer for me (input would be nice, if possible) but getting it all out has helped me feel somewhat better about the situation.

Thanks

::PS::
The impending war is also heavily on my mind, but I tend to tune out things that I have no control over. I'm kind of shallow like that.

[veela]

It might be weird and scary right now for your friend who's pregnant, but I've had so many people around be become pregnant unexpectedly and unhappily (including a 16-year-old sister and 15-year-old best friend) and although it was "tragic" at first, they have become great, happy wonderful families and cannot imagine their lives without their children. And neither can I. I hate that our relationships have changed as a result, but I love seeing their smiles and eyes light up when their kids hug them or do something equally special. Usually around the 4th month of pregnancy the excitement begins to dominate over the fear. Tell your friend to hang in and be as supportive as possible

[undeniabledilemma]

Snow said:

I'm facing a real dilemma. I miss my friend, but I also can't believe that my friend would treat me so badly. If anyone else were to treat me this way, I would have nothing else to do with them, but I hate the thought of "discarding" someone that I have been friends with for so long.

I know exactly how you feel.

You have to figure out how hurt you are/were by what he said and then figure out how to take it from there. Is it something you can get passed? Do you need a sincere apology in order to feel ok again? Or is it something that you'd be willing to just forget and move on if you got your friend back?

Then talk to your friend. Actually, I'd email him, but I'm a chicken when it comes to things like this. If you feel like you need an apology, say something. The relationship means a lot to you, so it probably means a lot to him too and maybe it's something that can be worked on. Learn how he feels on the whole thing. Who knows, maybe he wants to apologize but feels too embarrassed too.

If he thinks he's done nothing wrong and you still feel hurt, then let it drop...he's not a good friend if he can't see when he's hurting you.

[undeniabledilemma]

Monika said:

As for politics, sorry undeniabledilemma I disagree with you. I think it's selfish of the american goverment to even consider war. I have always been against war, does somebody really win?? I mean what happens to all thoses kids that lose their father's to war, that is not an act of courage. And what about the rest of the world, almost every existing country depends on the U.S in one way or another, economically, etc. I can't say what I think of Bush because I don't want to offend ppl that do like him. But I'm sick of the hate I mean when is the U.S gonna decide to turn the page? One thing is pride but war is it really worth it??

I understand what you're saying. Don't be sorry, I like when people bring up new ideas and disagree with me. I'm not for a war, I just don't see any other solution. I do think the problem with Saddam is an immediate danger and if we handle it right, could totally transform the Middle East and change Bush's imfamous "axis of evil" around. I am really scared that war could bring about things that Bush won't concentrate on too. I guess it's all a matter of opinion, is the death and destruction worth the outcome?

I'm not a Bush lover, but I did like how last night he talked just as much about internal problems and this war situation.

[Monika]

undeniabledilemma said:

I understand what you're saying. Don't be sorry, I like when people bring up new ideas and disagree with me. I'm not for a war, I just don't see any other solution. I do think the problem with Saddam is an immediate danger and if we handle it right, could totally transform the Middle East and change Bush's imfamous "axis of evil" around. I am really scared that war could bring about things that Bush won't concentrate on too. I guess it's all a matter of opinion, is the death and destruction worth the outcome?

I'm not a Bush lover, but I did like how last night he talked just as much about internal problems and this war situation.

I respect your opinion and I also respect the fact that your not in favor of war like I thought before. It's really a complex situation and I don't even want to imagine what's going to happen if war starts. Chile has been through serious political problems throughout the years and one good thing has come out of it all, is that the future generations don't want to have to deal with past hatred and are much more open politically speaking. I think it's a shame that decisions like these are taken by few people that don't really evaluate the consecuences.

[orfeo]

Right now in Australia I don't think there's anything more frustrating than listening to our own government's apparent eagerness to follow the USA into war.

Plenty of other allies - eg in Europe - are telling the Americans they need to let the UN do its job. This week we FINALLY got as far as saying "um, gee, you know, it WOULD be nice if you waited for UN approval before doing anything". Meanwhile we've already sent some troops...

Two things about this impending war business drive me up the wall:

- the lack evidence. Despite numerous promises of proof, nothing has been done to show that Iraq is actually a threat to anyone (contrast with the Gulf War where an invasion of Kuwait occurred). Nothing has been done to show any link with terrorism (contrast the evidence linking Al Qaeda with the Taliban government in Afghanistan). This morning on the radio I heard that a senior Democrat in USA, who has been to security briefings, said he hadn't seen anything convincing.

- the sheer hypocrisy. Picture if you will a country being told it must provide a complete inventory of its weapons. That it will be invaded if there are any mistakes. That the most powerful weapons will be confiscated. That it's not allowed to defend itself...

...now imagine if that were country were America. Imagine how the American government would react, and you begin to see the Iraqi response in a whole new light.

[undeniabledilemma]

orfeo said:

Right now in Australia I don't think there's anything more frustrating than listening to our own government's apparent eagerness to follow the USA into war.

Plenty of other allies - eg in Europe - are telling the Americans they need to let the UN do its job. This week we FINALLY got as far as saying "um, gee, you know, it WOULD be nice if you waited for UN approval before doing anything". Meanwhile we've already sent some troops...

Two things about this impending war business drive me up the wall:

- the lack evidence. Despite numerous promises of proof, nothing has been done to show that Iraq is actually a threat to anyone (contrast with the Gulf War where an invasion of Kuwait occurred). Nothing has been done to show any link with terrorism (contrast the evidence linking Al Qaeda with the Taliban government in Afghanistan). This morning on the radio I heard that a senior Democrat in USA, who has been to security briefings, said he hadn't seen anything convincing.

- the sheer hypocrisy. Picture if you will a country being told it must provide a complete inventory of its weapons. That it will be invaded if there are any mistakes. That the most powerful weapons will be confiscated. That it's not allowed to defend itself...

...now imagine if that were country were America. Imagine how the American government would react, and you begin to see the Iraqi response in a whole new light.

Now you've got me thinking..

I might actually go from semi-pro war to semi-anti war all in one day. Probably not a bad thing.

Bush has got himself way over his head. We go to war and horrible things happen. We don't go to war and, because Bush has even brought the whole idea of war up, it shows other anti-U.S. countries that they can flaunt all they want and we're not going to do something about it.

The world is a very depressing place.

[DaturaFae]

The thing that scares me is that Bush is so wrapped up in the pro-war mentality of the Republican party that he wants the US to go into war on it's own.
We have plenty of allies, but right now most of them think that Bush himself is a tyrant because he won't wait to completely analyse the situation with complete and accurate information.
He needs to wait until allies agree to back him on this and put more effort into providing information to convince them to back him, rather than appearing to be war-hungry (or oil-hungry). This isn't the US vs. Iraq, and that point must be emphasized! Why set ourselves up to be an exclusive enemy? Won't that cause more harm than good?

Also, with the proposed tax cuts and a declining economy, where the hell does he think he's going to get money for this?? His typical Repulican "make the rich richer" policies do not assist the economy at all.

This whole thing leaves me nothing but frightened.

[orfeo]

DaturaFae said:

This isn't the US vs. Iraq, and that point must be emphasized!

An excellent point. To my mind it's central to this whole issue. If the UN and/or the UN security council passes resolutions and they're breached, it's up to the UN to decide how to react. The USA doesn't have the right to take matters into its own hands.