"Silent All These Years" interpretations

[Julie14]

edit: {pics removed by daturaangel812, they were linked to hereinmyhead.com}




SILENT ALL THESE YEARS excuse me but can I be you for
a while my dog won't bite if you sit real still I got the
anti-Christ in the kitchen yellin' at me again yeah I can
hear that been saved again by the garbage truck I got
something to say you know but NOTHING comes yes I know
what you think of me you never shut up yeah I can hear
that but what if I'm a mermaid in these jeans of his with her
name still on it hey but I don't care cause sometimes I said
sometimes I hear my voice and it's been HERE silent all
these years so you found a girl who thinks really deep
thoughts what's so amazing about really deep thoughts boy
you best pray that I bleed real soon how's that thought for
you my scream got lost in a paper cup you think there's a
heaven where some screams have gone I got 25 bucks and a
cracker do you think it's enough to get us there years go by
will I still be waiting for somebody else to understand years
go by if I'm stripped of my beauty and the orange clouds
raining in my head years go by will I choke on my tears till
finally there is nothing left one more casualty you know
we're too EASY easy easy well I love the way we com-
municate your eyes focus on my funny lip shape let's hear
what you think of me now but baby don't look up the sky is
falling your MOTHER shows up in a nasty dress it's your
turn now to stand where I stand everybody lookin' at you
here take hold of my hand yeah I can hear them . . .

Tori's description of "Silent All These Years":
Alot of people ask me about this song [Silent All These Years]. And um, what I try and explain to them is uh, I was writing it for somebody else actually. Because I was trying to get some of my songs placed with people, I wrote something for Cher. And uh, it got turned down, of course, and then I wrote something for Tina Turner....So finally I needed to like get work. I decided, wow, I met this new person who was really nice to me because um he looked at me and said "You've never had good wine." And I went, "Oh my god! How do you know!" And he was just like, "I can just tell. It like oozes from you, you just don't know it." And I went, "Oh." You know what I mean, you just go..it gets a little nerve-racking. You don't know what you're doing wrong. And so, Al Stewart, um you know (plays a short tune on the piano) took me to a restaurant and showed me wine like I'd never seen wine before. And so I wanted to write a song for him. And I started to do this thing. And I went to Eric, who I was with and who partly produced Little Earthquakes, and he didn't produce this bit so he was totally objective. And he looked at me and said, "You're out of your mind. That's your life story." And I went, "Oh." So needlesstoay, Al Stewart didn't get that song." (Begins playing song)
"With this record, a song like Silent All These Years has a certain story line going on musically that's really the antithesis of what's going on verbally. It's counterpoint, pure and simple. But instead of French horns and cellos or something, it's words and music. And I find it very exciting when an acoustic instrument has its knife out. It can take on these different roles. The idea of being a woman ... you come over to my house and I'm serving a fruit plate. That's not always going to happen. Especially if somebody isn't being polite, or if somebody's being a dick. Then I'm going to put the peelings on the floor and watch you trip, and giggle. And that's the same with the acoustic instrument. It's not always just about, 'I'm vulnerable, I'm sad.' There are many different sides, and the beauty comes in exploring them."
"So um, i never liked my grandmother. she was pretty me--she was actually very mean person. not all grandmothers are nice, you know pllbtt.. so um, the town where she comes from - it's really makes kinda sense that she wouldn't play, she wouldn't be into this anyway, but they wouldn't play this song. they said it, they quoted, they said...it's shit. so it gives me great pleasure to always play this song as much as I possibly can. thank you."
"Some things haven't changed, which is my relationship with my grandmother. she's on the 'other side'...hi grandma!. we didn't get on very well - i hated her. the interesting thing about my grandmother is uh...she loved virgins. now you know the thing is that if that's your choice, i totally respect that. and that was my choice...for a while. and uh..but i knew that there was something else in store -- i was six. so she and i just didn't work this one out very well. you know, she'd see a picture of Jim Morrison and it just...she didn't get it. so um...naturally i was sent to pray in the corner. i said all the psalms and all...the whole thing. and i'd spit in her jello when she wasn't looking. and so this went on and on and on. and she died. long time ago. now i got a letter this year. one letter from a town. they all got together - true! - in America! - "Land of the free". and they wrote me a letter. now they don't know that my grandmother's from there. made no mention of it. and they can't possibly know that she was born there. anyway, it just went "nininini" (to the tune of Twilight Zone) - It makes total sense. 'Dear Miss Amos we're very sorry we can't play this song in our town. But in our opinion, it is shit.' --- Actually "perfect"!, you know...so there you go."
"The bumble bee piano tinkle came first. This one evolved slowly but it stayed an obsession until it was finished. I entered boxer occupation - part of me not wanting to hear what 'I' was saying, the other part fighting off 'The Brain Drain.' I finally distracted The brain Drain with the task of filing chocolate cake recipes."
...Tori Amos

My interpretation of "Silent All These Years":
"My interpretations of "Silent All These Years" is that Tori has been through a lot of experiences that are very important and significant in her life. The only way she can express her feelings is through music so she's going to stop being silent all these years and finally let everything out into her music."
...Julie H.

My experience with "Silent All These Years":
"I've had a lot of experiences in my life also that I'd love to share with others but sometimes I feel like I'm either too personal about it or I'm shy in a way or some thing like that...I try to grow with my writing more and discover new things. Tori is my inspiration for expression and adventure...I love her."
...Julie H.

LipGlossArsonist's interpretation of "Silent All These Years":
"I've always felt SATY is about.. well.. you're around someone who's maybe doing things that just don't sit well.. and you don't say anything to kind of avoid conflict... but one day, you're just sitting alone and you think to yourself.. "You know, I really hate that ___ person.. I'd just love to tell them this and that and the other"... and FINALLY saying ALL those things you've been dying to get out.. all the snide remarks and all the witty retorts that were just DYING to come out before.. And it's saying to this person and the WHOLE world.. "HEY! I have a voice. And it might have been quiet before... but it's not GONNA be anymore. I have things to say, and I'm gonna say them. Because I can. "
On of my favorite examples in the song has to be:
"So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts, what's so amazing about really deep thoughts? Boy you best pray that I bleed real soon, how's that thought for you?"
Mainly because.. He's saying "Oh, I've found this really deep girl. And she snorts back to him, "Oh yeah, well I could be pregnant, how you like that?"
I dunno, again that's really just how that song hits me.
Anytime I've forgotten that my voice is in there somewhere... SATY just... somehow finds it's way onto my stereo, I guess... And I hear it.. and remember what my vocal cords are for again. *grin*"
...LipGlossArsonist

[waitressboy]

SILENT ALL THESE YEARS
by Tori, explained (or something like that) bt Leatherboy

excuse me but can I be you for a while
"ok, so you say that I'm stupid, a fool, perhaps lovely, hapy, mad, sad, bad... Ok, you can say what you want about me, but if you were me and i was you, you'd see that it's not easy being myself"

my dog won't bite if you sit real still I got the anti-Christ in the kitchen yellin' at me again yeah I can hear that
"anyway, what you think about me... well, it doesn't make me angry. I accept it. I can hear it. But baby, we all get tired, and if you keep on saying stupid stuffs about me, I'll speak about you too"

been saved again by the garbage truck
"in my bad days, you know, i only find salvation in the worst things. Dunno why, it just happen. The only way that I find to take off my sadness, is with more sadness. Weird? Try to be me"

I got something to say you know but NOTHING comes
"But it's not always sadness... It's madness, hapinness... There's a million feelings inside of me, and i cannot talk to you about all of them"

yes I know what you think of me you never shut up yeah I can hear that
(first commentary)

but what if I'm a mermaid in these jeans of his with her
name still on it hey but I don't care cause sometimes I said sometimes I hear my voice and it's been HERE silent all these years
(ok, i give up, have no f*ckin' idea what does that mean)

so you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts what's so amazing about really deep thoughts
"you know, i really appreciate you, but cannot figure out why do you say that i'm not "deep". That girl, you say she's so deep, when you never know all that deepness, and then you'll be afraid. Or tired. Stay with me, I'm easy. I won't bite you"

boy you best pray that I bleed real soon how's that thought for you
"so you still don't believe me... Ok, what do you want me to do? hurt myself?"

my scream got lost in a paper cup you think there's a heaven where some screams have gone
(uhm?)

I got 25 bucks and a cracker do you think it's enough to get us there
"i don't have much. I'm not deep, i'm not rich. But if you want, we can make the world our own home. Do you think we cannot?"

years go by will I still be waiting for somebody else to understand
"and if you're not my Mr Right, I'll keep searching, and one day I'll find it. I won't die alone"

years go by if I'm stripped of my beauty and the orange clouds raining in my head
(what in the world means "orange clouds"?)

years go by will I choke on my tears till finally there is nothing left
"i'm extreme. I'll give everything from myself, if that's what it takes to make my dreams come true"

one more casualty you know we're too EASY easy easy
"and you're SO like me..."

well I love the way we communicate your eyes focus on my funny lip shape let's hear what you think of me now
"ok, you boy feel so atracted to me... ok, it's ok that you think i'm horny. but i wanna know what's inside your head"

but baby don't look up the sky is falling
(there are 275489 interpretations for this phrase, let's leave it there)

your MOTHER shows up in a nasty dress it's your
turn now to stand where I stand everybody lookin' at you here take hold of my hand yeah I can hear them . . .
"you may feel... ashamed, or afraid, but i've been on this before. Relax, I'll take you with me, and everything's gonna be ok".

THE END

[rasberryswirlgirl]

(Feel free to consider my interpretation stupid, and invalid, I don't know much about music, or how Tori writes) Well, lets see....I see 'Silent All These Years' as really good song(obviously), about wanting to be someone else, because your tired of trying to be who people want you to be. You've tried and tried, and not said anything you felt or belivied in, just because you wanted other people to like you, and except you. So finally, your tired of it, and you say, 'You know what? I don't like this. Lets switch places, you try being me, and I'll be what I want to be.'
I don't know, I haven't been a Tori fan all that long, but I must have listened to that song a million times, and thats what it feels like to me.

[♣Miranda♣]

Malinda said:

(Feel free to consider my interpretation stupid, and invalid, I don't know much about music, or how Tori writes) Well, lets see....I see 'Silent All These Years' as really good song(obviously), about wanting to be someone else, because your tired of trying to be who people want you to be. You've tried and tried, and not said anything you felt or belivied in, just because you wanted other people to like you, and except you. So finally, your tired of it, and you say, 'You know what? I don't like this. Lets switch places, you try being me, and I'll be what I want to be.'
I don't know, I haven't been a Tori fan all that long, but I must have listened to that song a million times, and thats what it feels like to me.

You're a girl after my own heart! SATY is my favorite Tori song, for all the reasons you mentioned.

[Koalapupu]

I'll put in my 2 cents here... I'll just talk about some bits, not all the song.

Leatherboy said:

but what if I'm a mermaid in these jeans of his with her
name still on it hey but I don't care cause sometimes I said sometimes I hear my voice and it's been HERE silent all these years
(ok, i give up, have no f*ckin' idea what does that mean)

Hm I always thought this part was kind of a "being in someone else's shoes" - or jeans. Like, she is this person's new beloved, has stepped into the old shoes, but the ghost of the one before her is still hanging around. Could also be about a mother-daughter relationship. I just always thought of the song more of a commentary on relationships and their problems. I don't know how far-fetched that is... And being silent all these years: she knows that inside of her is the being she really is and she can talk back if she really needs to defend herself. Her own self still exists. And she reassures herself that although she might feel emotionally numb and incapable of changing the situation, she is still there, alive, inside her. But up to this point, she hasn't been able to express herself, defend herself... Hope I didn't repeat myself here toooo much.

my scream got lost in a paper cup you think there's a heaven where some screams have gone
(uhm?)

Um your guess is as good as mine.

years go by if I'm stripped of my beauty and the orange clouds raining in my head
(what in the world means "orange clouds"?)

I would say she's referring to her hair here - you get old, and depending on your genes, your hair might fall off, who knows. Or you get tired of dying it, hihih.

years go by will I choke on my tears till finally there is nothing left
"i'm extreme. I'll give everything from myself, if that's what it takes to make my dreams come true"
one more casualty you know we're too EASY easy easy
"and you're SO like me..."

To me this reflects the sadness of the person speaking: will she just stay and suffer, will nothing in the relationship change? Will she get so sad that there is no way over it? She contemplates the worst possible outcome, and how easily they have fallen into this kind of a pit.

but baby don't look up the sky is falling
(there are 275489 interpretations for this phrase, let's leave it there)

I wanna try! I think here she has decided how things should be, feels all calm (wanting to know what the guy is thinking) and warns him, that at that very moment she is capable of breaking the relationship, or making a big change.

This song is very important to me. I used to feel sad and not talk about it to the person causing the sadness and being afraid of it never changing. But it did change. And it feels like an old thing to me now (well, it must've been like over 5 years ago). I still listen to the song, though, and I can still relate to it. Works on so many levels, on so many different relationships.

[rasberryswirlgirl]

¢Àbluegirl¢À said:

You're a girl after my own heart! SATY is my favorite Tori song, for all the reasons you mentioned.

It just feels like that kind of song to me. I think sometimes people try to look for the technical meanings in her songs to much, I just like to break them down to the emotions it seems that they're written about, you know?

[♥Mary♥]

1 cent:

"my scream got lost in a paper cup..."

This line has always reminded me of that old "telephone" game we played as kids, where you tie two paper cups (or cans, but those have dangerous sharp edges and my preschool teacher was all safe-like) on either end of a looooong string & you and a friend yell into the cups and "hear" what the other person is saying on the "phone".

I think Tori's using it metaphorically and saying even when she screamed into the paper cup, her voice wasn't heard. It was lost. Hence, she was "silent", even despite the screaming.

Ya, ya, that makes sense....

[♥Mary♥]

Oh, and maybe the "heaven" is the place where all the dead screams go. You know, all the voices that are never 'heard'. They're all sitting there together making perfect sense with each other in some kind of heaven.

That's how I picture it. I think a few of my screams might be there, too.....

[♣Miranda♣]

?honeybee? said:

Oh, and maybe the "heaven" is the place where all the dead screams go. You know, all the voices that are never 'heard'. They're all sitting there together making perfect sense with each other in some kind of heaven.

That's how I picture it. I think a few of my screams might be there, too.....

I have always felt/seen/whatever a heaven full of dead screams when I hear that line. I'm sure your screams are hanging out with my screams.

[♥Mary♥]

¢Àbluegirl¢À said:

I have always felt/seen/whatever a heaven full of dead screams when I hear that line. I'm sure your screams are hanging out with my screams.

I'll bet our screams knew each other even before we did.

[Julie]

Here's Tori's description of it:
Alot of people ask me about this song [Silent All These Years]. And um, what I try and explain to them is uh, I was writing it for somebody else actually. Because I was trying to get some of my songs placed with people, I wrote something for Cher. And uh, it got turned down, of course, and then I wrote something for Tina Turner....So finally I needed to like get work. I decided, wow, I met this new person who was really nice to me because um he looked at me and said "You've never had good wine." And I went, "Oh my god! How do you know!" And he was just like, "I can just tell. It like oozes from you, you just don't know it." And I went, "Oh." You know what I mean, you just go..it gets a little nerve-racking. You don't know what you're doing wrong. And so, Al Stewart, um you know (plays a short tune on the piano) took me to a restaurant and showed me wine like I'd never seen wine before. And so I wanted to write a song for him. And I started to do this thing. And I went to Eric, who I was with and who partly produced Little Earthquakes, and he didn't produce this bit so he was totally objective. And he looked at me and said, "You're out of your mind. That's your life story." And I went, "Oh." So needlesstoay, Al Stewart didn't get that song." (Begins playing song)
-- Tori; VH1 Storytellers

"With this record, a song like Silent All These Years has a certain story line going on musically that's really the antithesis of what's going on verbally. It's counterpoint, pure and simple. But instead of French horns and cellos or something, it's words and music. And I find it very exciting when an acoustic instrument has its knife out. It can take on these different roles. The idea of being a woman ... you come over to my house and I'm serving a fruit plate. That's not always going to happen. Especially if somebody isn't being polite, or if somebody's being a dick. Then I'm going to put the peelings on the floor and watch you trip, and giggle. And that's the same with the acoustic instrument. It's not always just about, 'I'm vulnerable, I'm sad.' There are many different sides, and the beauty comes in exploring them."
-- Tori; interview by Greg Rule

"So um, i never liked my grandmother. she was pretty me--she was actually very mean person. not all grandmothers are nice, you know pllbtt.. so um, the town where she comes from - it's really makes kinda sense that she wouldn't play, she wouldn't be into this anyway, but they wouldn't play this song. they said it, they quoted, they said...it's shit. so it gives me great pleasure to always play this song as much as I possibly can. thank you."
-- Tori; Festival du Jazz de Montreux 1992

"Some things haven't changed, which is my relationship with my grandmother. she's on the 'other side'...hi grandma!. we didn't get on very well - i hated her. the interesting thing about my grandmother is uh...she loved virgins. now you know the thing is that if that's your choice, i totally respect that. and that was my choice...for a while. and uh..but i knew that there was something else in store -- i was six. so she and i just didn't work this one out very well. you know, she'd see a picture of Jim Morrison and it just...she didn't get it. so um...naturally i was sent to pray in the corner. i said all the psalms and all...the whole thing. and i'd spit in her jello when she wasn't looking. and so this went on and on and on. and she died. long time ago. now i got a letter this year. one letter from a town. they all got together - true! - in America! - "Land of the free". and they wrote me a letter. now they don't know that my grandmother's from there. made no mention of it. and they can't possibly know that she was born there. anyway, it just went "nininini" (to the tune of Twilight Zone) - It makes total sense. 'Dear Miss Amos we're very sorry we can't play this song in our town. But in our opinion, it is shit.' --- Actually "perfect"!, you know...so there you go."
-- Tori; Toronto, Canada 1993, l'affaire d'amoreuse bootleg

"The bumble bee piano tinkle came first. This one evolved slowly but it stayed an obsession until it was finished. I entered boxer occupation - part of me not wanting to hear what 'I' was saying, the other part fighting off 'The Brain Drain.' I finally distracted The brain Drain with the task of filing chocolate cake recipes."
-- Tori; Little Earthquakes Songbook

---

: Trust - Me'Shell NdegeOcello

---

[prettygoodgirl]

This is my favorite Tori song and I guess my favorite song ever. I first heard the song when I started high school and it's kinda traveled with me each year. Now, I'm a junior in high school and I feel that I have learned so much from this song. So many things can come out of it...so many possibilities and stories...I'm always the quiet girl at school, the one that sits in the back of the room, writing away. I think this song is all about finding your voice and finding yourself and just being you.

By the way, when I ordered my school yearbook this year, I had my name and "Silent All These Years" written on it.

[pinelopi]

SILENT ALL THESE YEARS

Excuse me but can I be you for a while
my dog won't bite if you sit real still I got the
anti-Christ in the kitchen yellin' at me again
yeah I can hear that

I think this song is about domestic violence. The woman goes to some stranger or the neighbour, and asks if she can change her life with this other persons just for a little while… because the anti Christ (her husband/boyfriend ) is yelling at her again. “Yes I can hear that” … I feel this last phrase is loaded with frustration. Yes I know I´m useless, stupid… and all these other things you think I am.

Been saved again by the garbage truck I got
something to say you know but NOTHING comes
Yes I know what you think of me you never shut up
yeah I can hear that

She s continuing to talk to her neighbour or person on the street … and she s been saved by the garbage truck… that passed by and she hopped on…. Or gave her a distraction to get away. And she wants to answer back, but nothing comes…

But what if I'm a mermaid in these jeans of his with her
name still on it hey but I don't care cause sometimes I said
sometimes I hear my voice and it's been HERE silent all
these years

But what if there is something more to her? What if actually she is not useless and horrible as he says she is, what if she is a mermaid? Although she s betrayed (these jeans of his with her name still on it), maybe she s worth more than she thinks. She tries to shake her insecurity off by saying “I don’t care”… because sometimes she knows who she is… she knows what she wants to say… and she has been here.. not lost.. but here.

so you found a girl who thinks really deep
thoughts what's so amazing about really deep thoughts boy
you best pray that I bleed real soon how's that thought for
you

This man drifts into a day dreamer… thinking of really deep thoughts and shit like that, and she reminds him, that maybe she is pregnant… and all the responsibility that comes with that… is that not a deep enough thought to think about?

my scream got lost in a paper cup you think there's a
heaven where some screams have gone
I got 25 bucks and a cracker do you think it's enough to get us there

I love this phrase “my scream got lost in a paper cup”… there s something so silent about paper cups. A muffled noise. Something so silent and fragile and vulnerable. And that is where something as a violent scream managed to get lost in. Where do all the screams that I did not manage to scream go? I and myself need to get there… We need to find our voices again.

years go by will I still be waiting for somebody else to understand years
go by if I'm stripped of my beauty and the orange clouds
raining in my head

Time is passing and I m still doing the same mistakes… trying to find someone else to understand me, to validate me, to tell me I m justified and to love me. But time is cruel, and it is not waiting… it will take her beauty and youth, and will convert her beautiful orange hair to a misty cloud on her head. I think Tori is trying to say that we should find our voices, and they should be enough validation, they should be enough for us to stand on our two feet again and to defend ourselves from this cruel world out there.

years go by will I choke on my tears till finally there is nothing left
one more casualty you know we're too EASY easy easy

Time is passing and I cry so much it will be the death of me. And the world wont care…. They will think that it is one more casualty as if this were some cold war and the sacrifice of this woman is one more casualty in it. It s too easy … no one is taking responsibility for the thousand of voiceless women who get abused and violated every day… they get coldly numbered as casualties of your day to day existence.

well I love the way we communicate
your eyes focus on my funny lip shape
let's hear what you think of me now but baby don't look up the sky is
falling

This man prefers to look at her lips while she is talking then actually what she is really saying.

your MOTHER shows up in a nasty dress it's your
turn now to stand where I stand

everybody lookin' at you
here take hold of my hand
yeah I can hear them . . .

Everyone in the room turns to look at his mother and gossip about her and her dress. And he feels humiliated because it is his own mother. And that s exactly how she has felt throughout her life, by being his wife, partner.. whatever. And now is the only moment he takes hold of her hand… he need her, he wants to hide behind her… and she can see right through him. She can hear the voices around them because she anyway hears them constantly about her own self in regards to him.